Voicing Heaven in Earth's Language

I'm more addicted to fantasy than I am to real life. I see this because I desire to passively watch a fantasy world in a movie or novel than I do to fully immerse myself in this life, as it is now, resting in all circumstances regardless of how I feel and receiving the grace of God. I'm addicted to counterfeit pleasures outside of God. Instead of indulging in the goodness of God and receiving His benefits and blessings, I settle almost every day for counterfeits from sexual ones to gluttony to caffeine to laziness and passivity. Instead of humility, I've settled for self-pity and a victim mentality. Instead of contentment, I've settled for indulgence sexually, physically and emotionally. Instead of loving others, I've settled for patronizing for my own ends and my own glory. Instead of love toward God, I've settled for doing things for God unto my own ends and my own glory. Instead of taming my selfish nature into submission to my will and my will in submission

Turmoil is happening inside me. I cannot disguise it for I would be dishonest if I did. It's hard to contend and hold on to hope and faith. It's hard to believe that God can still be for me in the midst of all this when I see the violent rebellions and uprisings of my selfish nature which I can't seem to quench. I'm supposed to violently be taking the Kingdom of God, but it seems like I do just the opposite. I don't look for pity for I'm totally to blame for not staying in abiding in the Spirit of God. I'm just looking, grappling for answers and wondering if any can offer me any hope of my ever gaining enough resolve to just fall in love with God's way, and see the end of myself. I haven't yet. My motives remain corrupt, even in the midst of the radical steps of obedience I've taken to the Lord. If I could just fall in love and receive Your love! If I could just totally turn from me toward You! If I just had some hope that one day I wou

How's this for a good subject line? I think it's quite fitting. You all know that last week was a hard week for me being my first one on the streets. This week has improved one hundred fold simply by merit that I have gotten used to where I am. I'm getting to know people, enjoying being immersed in the culture, and keeping my eyes on Jesus and representing him to these people. God is providing for all of my needs. I have tangibly felt your prayers last week in a way I never did before. This week has seen me more established and settled. People know me now (and I'm getting to know more all the time), they know what I stand for, and I've had the opportunity to minister, pray, and love these people more-something that God is teaching me more to do. A few guys I've met have started calling me "Red" (Gee, I wonder why?). My hair is sort of red, but especially my facial hair is red and so I guess Red is my street name now. I kind of like it, especia

As I've been out here, I've constantly been faced with the temptation toward aimlessness and cop-out. Not only is this a tendency among many homeless who have grown apathetic toward life, but this has been a tendency in my own life as I get distracted and try so many different things that I enjoy. I call it balance when it's actually just selfish distraction. So many homeless downtown here will just go and sip coffee and watch tv for hours at McDonald's and that would be so easy for me to do! Many come to the public library and just read books all day long. That would be so easy for me to do because I love reading and yet God keeps showing me that I have a purpose out here. It's not aimless. I'm embarking on a ministry and vocation and I represent God, Himself. I must be in a constant state of abiding in Christ and receiving His love that I can truly love those which I encounter out here on the streets. As far as I'm concerned, I have no room to do

18 March 2008 I actually slept in a parking garage last night. I've never done anything like that before. I haven't found a place yet where I'm confident to hide my sleeping bag during the day, but I'm learning the ropes, that's for sure. I need wisdom though. These guys (such as Kevin) have head-knowledge and good textbook answers, but I don't think he has a very living faith. I think Leo does. The devil tried cornering me theologically with Kevin and tried to get me to doubt my own authenticity. I need wisdom on how to speak truth boldly. It'd be too easy if I just burned time at the library and so on like a lot of these guys do, but I'm here on spiritual pilgrimmage and ministry. Looks like Keith has left town-that was quick. This is crazy-I am in the Hope Center as we speak to sleep as a homeless man. I read the Scripture in the library today, talked awhile with people. I especially enjoyed eating at Lighthouse with some godly people as we

I'm a pilgrim journeying the ancient path (Jer. 6:16) in an honest search for real life. This path is the path which all mankind has sought; eternity with God is its reward and this path's existence is written on the hearts of all people (Eccl. 3:11). This path represents the ultimate reality and abundant, immortal life that all humankind searches for and God revealed this path in a single God-man, Jesus Christ (1 Jn. 1:1ff, Jn. 1). By the guidance and power of God's Spirit (Is. 30:21), I put my faith in the man Jesus, by turning continually from the path of self-gratification, worldly lust and ultimately self-destruction and turning to the ancient path (Lk. 14:27,33, Jer. 6:16), by believing, repenting, confessing, and embodying the words and works of Jesus (becoming like Jesus; Heb. 11:1-3,12:2) for He embodies all the words and works of God. I walk this path only by God's grace and mercy freely offered on the basis of Jesus' pioneering work on my behalf and by th